graduations....

Its that time of our life when we say, "so, this is how we pictured it to be,"

I was very happy for P because its her graduation on the 28th. Too bad i cant be there to see her receive the scroll. We both went to matriculation college in Labuan immediately after "ace-ing" our SPMs. I had difficulties to catch up with the "zoom-zoom" study pace there. I managed just above 2.2 which is a total frustration. P too finished off college around the same level. I was lucky to get into university but luck seems to go against P. I missed her alot since we're so close in college, and entering uni means i had to start making new friends.

A year after i entered uni, P answered an advert in the local newspaper for a full scholarship under Murphy Oil Corp. And the rest, is history.

M and I shared the joy of her convocation day by accompanying her for a shopping spree. We sought for the best outfit, sexy kitten heels at Vincci, make-up stuffs at Watson's and had a big lunch at McDonald's.

we ran into friends from high school. L-R: Ansovinus, me, Petrus, M, P.

Toast House, not far from Curtin University Sarawak Campus. Potential "lepak" spot for the coming 1 month of holiday.

M:"maybe i should get one too,"

P, excited trying the kitten heels.

Aha, message boyfriend la tu...


On the evening of her convocation night, M helped with the make-up and all I did was become the cheerleader. Haha! Of course la I helped a bit. With her hair and the robe + sash.

Picture perfect!

Congratulations dear. We're all happy for you. I wish you all the best. I hope being posted to another town is a blessing for you - even if its just two hours drive.

November Events

Im safe back at home on the 21st . As soon as I arrived, mom showed me lists of wedding reception invitations. All in this month. Starting off with Augustine Sadasivan and Sivashankari Annamalai’s wedding reception held at Imperial Mall Ballroom. The event started with a brief speech from the master of ceremony, followed by the cake-cutting ceremony. And then, the main event… MAKAN!!

My personal favorite is of course, Fried Crispy Chicken.

Groom and bride delivering their speech.

Seems like we’re the only Muslim family guests at the wedding.

A cute boy and his mother. They’re of Chinese-Indian parentage.

Left to right: Dad, Uncle Raja Badrol, Auntie Mui, Augustine, Shankari, me, Mom, Ady,
Mr & Mrs Sadasivan.

This wedding is dubbed special because it’s the union of two hearts from different religious background. Augustine, being a Roman Catholic Christian and Shankari, a Hindu.

Wishing them all the happiness and love in the world.

velcro and handiplast

aha. I just came back from the airport. Waved goodbye to AR at the immigration clearance gate.

Earlier today he told me to just drop him at the airport then go straight back home. But i refused. I want to hold his hands one last time before i see him again in 2 months time. When i asked him why he wants me to just drop him off, his answer is easy. So that it wont hurt too much like taking off the handiplast slowly from the wound. AR, "imagine pulling off a strip of handiplast from your hands / legs. If you pull it slowly, the glue will tug at your skin and hair, it hurts. The pain will come in waves. (means if i stayed longer at the airport it would be tougher for me to let him go). On the other hand, if I pull the handiplast in one swift move, the pain will come and go instantly. (same like just dropping him off at the entrance and go straight back home).".

he let me decide anyways. And, i have decided to stay at the airport till he disappears behind the immigration clearence counter. He told me that i have to get used to being apart. But as i drove back home alone, my heart tells me it will always be difficult. Anyways, if one of his friend can maintain a 5 year long-distance relationship, why cant we?

Have faith sayangku. I love you.

Velcro. Its a term for girlfriend/boyfriend being overprotective and insists to spend all their time together. I was once a velcro. But i learn that my man needs his freedom.

think of love as a beautiful butterfly. You love it so much that you grasp it hard, only to find it crushed in between your palms. But if you set it free, it will dance gracefully in the air for you. If it comes back to you, then it's yours - for life. (anne munchkins . 17 Nov 2008)

wish list

1. home
2. magic ball from toys'R'us
3. 20Q ball from toys'R'us
4. Dr. Felix and Dr. Sanudin not to attend my project 1 presentation. :P
5. a year holiday to some private island (with good novels to read)
6. my cats back
7. new pair of trekking shoes
8. a pair of rollerblades
9. new pair of Levi's jeans
10. migrain attacks to stop
    

deep in depression

depression.

A feeling or spell of dismally low spirits. -definition from thesaurus.com.

that is the best word to describe my current condition. i am homesick. very. will be going back to Miri on the 21st, just 9 days away. but it seems like forever.

i have lost the touch. the touch to make people around me happy - that includes to make myself smile. I do smile, but it wont be the big grin i used to have. I woke up in the morning, looking eye to eye to my reflection in the mirror. I tried to smile. but it looks fake. Lately, i stopped trying.

I am cursed. the things i touched go faulty. the place where i put my heart at turns into a dark place. cold as ice. I raised my hands off the keyboard, they shook. Not too much, but it is noticeable in a way.

Last night I had a migraine attack. i killed the lights. wrapped myself in the blanket. Hugged Donuts tight until it seems like his eyes is going to pop out of his body. The pain is excruciating. I breathed heavily into Donuts. Squeezed my eyes shut. A tear rolled down my cheek. Now my eyes throbbed. The throbbing continued, spreading to the left side of my head. I quietly whispered to myself to go to sleep. I chanted all the way. Hoping that dreams can take me away from this pain.

guys and girls

Girls:

Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No

I'm sorry = You'll be sorry

We need = I want

It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.

We need to talk = I need to complain.

Sure go ahead = I don't want you to.

I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.

I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper...

Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.

Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.

How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like.

I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.

Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.

You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me.

Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]

Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he falls asleep.

I'm not yelling! = Yes, I am yelling because I think this is Important.

The same old thing = Nothing

Nothing = Everything

Everything = My PMS is acting up.

Nothing, really = It's just that you're such an asshole.

==========================================================

Guys

"I'm hungry" = I'm hungry.
"I'm sleepy" = I'm sleepy.
"I'm tired" = I'm tired.

"Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

"Can I take you out to dinner?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

"Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

"May I have this dance?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

"Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!

"You look tense, let me give you a massage." = I want to fondle you.

"What's wrong?" = I don't see why your making such a big deal about this.

"What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?

"What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.

"I'm bored." = Do you want to have sex?

"I love you." = Let's have sex now.

"I love you, too." = Okay, I said it... we'd better have sex now!

"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = I liked it better before.

"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = $50 and it doesn't look that much different!

"Let's talk." = I am trying to impress you by showing you that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.

"Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.

"I like that one better." = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!

"I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together." = I am gay.


i hope you guys and girls enjoy this as much as i do.
no offense there but sometimes, life's like that.

:)

chokehold

im taking an hour break from my thesis writing. i have already submitted my draft for chapter 1 and 2. and im on my way completing chapter 3. i am going to let you take a sneak peek on what i have been working my a** of lately.

though im not supposed to post this but since i have modified it a bit for the thesis, i guess its okay then. its a hand-trace of rivers, streams and tributaries of my research area. pretty cool huh? and now my right arm is swollen. nice.

i spend the whole day "repairing" my base map. there will always be something missing here and there. tried to take a nap in the evening but i woke up in a jolt by the sound of knocking from the walls. okay, this might sound creepy but my housemates told me "something" is disturbing them at night. shit. i seriously dont like this.

anyways, there's been really crazy things happening lately. me n R had a huge fight. this really sucks. and then im having trouble to stay focus on my thesis.

i had a dream about my cats. for your info, my parents sent them away since they dont have time to care for all 7 of them. they sent them to a bazaar not far away from home. mom said she checked on them every now and then when she went to the market. i had a dream about them coming back home. i cried. they were my best friends when im feeling lonely at home during the long holidays. well, mom called this morning. told her about my dream. she was shocked. part of the shoplots at the bazaar was burnt down last saturday. and that's where my cats used to laze around on the sidewalk. poor babies. but my mom went to check on them. they're safe. seems like they moved to the other part of the bazaar. thank God. part of me wished i dont have to be here. i should stay at home and care for them. its my responsibility since im the one who took them in when they were just kittens. and now its my fault they almost got killed in the fire. i can only pray that they live a happier life, with much freedom than what i can give them before.

Luna is sleeping over at her aunt Bella's house. its been - like 3 weeks already since i saw her. i missed her dearly. at times like this, i missed the way she would just tug at my pants for a pat on the head. or the times she would patiently sit under the table and wait for me to finish my homeworks - then let her out to the balcony for her binky. i'll try to get her back as soon as i hand in my complete version of Project 1. due date is on Tuesday the 4th. ganbatte~!

but not all thing that has happened was bad. me n R made up after the huge fight. another challenge i guess. another test. we learn to understand each other more everyday. i have said some harsh things in the previous blog entry but deleted it soon afterwards. there are things that is best kept to yourself. and i have learned that, you cant change people. and i know, people cant change me. im still the way i am, slightly polished but not quite shining yet. R taught me lessons in life. the hard way, of course. hmm, a way of growing up, again i guess.

okay, this is the fun part. i read on Cleo magazine on something about the "30 things you must do before you turn 30". and i thought it would be great to try it out. one of it is "learn how to successfully change a car tyre". I PROUDLY ANNOUNCED THAT I HAVE SUCCEEDED CHANGING A FLAT TYRE. urh, of course with a little-tiny-weeny-bit of help from R. =P

there's a lot of other tips that i would like to share with you. but i will post it in the next blog post.

i am currently suffering from a massive neck pain. which i think can only heal by a massage from my beloved mom. Dr.B is performing the hajj end of november. so im guessing my second fieldtrip to Kunak is cancelled. i would have to confirm it with him though. cant wait to go back HOME.

"home is where the heart is," - E.S+HS